The Likeability Factor

He walks into a room and heads turn. She commands attention. People gravitate toward her. Her success seems effortless. He’s confident and in control. You know he doesn’t work any harder than you do, and she isn’t any smarter either. He seems to excel at everything he does, and you’ve heard her clients rave about her.

Have you ever wondered what sets certain people apart from others? Why will one person excel while another remains stagnant? While skills and knowledge are essential to your success, did you know that they account for only 15 percent of the reason you will be successful? Ultimately, your success will be a result of the way you handle yourself, your relationships, your reputation and the manner in which people respond to you.

Even if you’ve worked hard over the years, done everything ‘right’ and have impressive credentials, it may not be enough. If people don’t genuinely like you, you are more likely to miss out on future opportunities, push people away and may find yourself struggling throughout your career. Your success may be determined by how likeable you are.

Sure, there are people who defy the odds; people who are despicable characters and successful in spite of themselves. However, the truth is that most successful people, understand the importance of the likeability factor.

Jeanne has worked for me for years. When I heard she was looking to make some changes in her life, I was concerned she wouldn’t be available to work for me anymore. She is in demand for her services, so when I approached her with my concerns, her response surprised me. “Oh, you don’t have to worry about me leaving.” She said, “I like you too much and I like working for you.”

I felt so good about her comment, and realized that Jeanne wasn’t only working for the money. She liked working for me. She knew I appreciated her. And you know what? I liked having her work for me too, and I’ve worked at my relationship with her. Building relationships is essential, and the easiest way to gain loyalty from someone.

So, how likeable are you? Not sure? Take a quick inventory and respond to the following questions:

• Do you like people?
• Do people like you?
• Are you a good listener?
• Do people confide in you?
• Do you compliment others easily?
• Do you smile often?
• Do others seem genuinely happy to see you?
• Do you look on the bright side of things?
• Are you happy with yourself?

If you answered yes to most of the questions, it is probable that you are a fairly likeable person, but pay close attention to the messages, often unspoken, that you receive.

Frequently people will come up to me after a seminar and ask me for feedback. They want me to assess how they are doing and how well they come across. I rarely critique anyone without a specific objective, but can tell anyone how to critique and evaluate him- or herself. You receive feedback from others every day, but how often do you notice and pay attention to the messages people send you? The feedback is evident by the way people respond to you, and ultimately whether or not they do business with you, hire you or promote you. Pay close attention to the messages you receive, and find ways to connect with people in a sincere manner.

When you make people feel valued, they will value you. If you re pleasant to work with and make other people feel good about themselves, you will have an advantage. Get into the habit of recognizing the positive qualities people have, and bring out the best in others. Give yourself the gift of liking people and develop the habit of being positive and enthusiastic. The rewards will be abundant.