Susan Morem - Professional Edge Podcast

Professional Edge Podcast
Sue Morem is a career expert. Listen and get the the professional edge in the one activity that takes up most of your week – your job.

Take Control

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The problem may be the person in the mirror.

Over the years, I’ve noticed a common theme among the many questions I receive. The people who write to me often are frustrated because of the negative situation they find themselves in. It can be difficult to see a way out, because so often the “problem” involves someone else.

The troubles I hear about almost always involve other people: the horrid boss, the irritating coworker, the annoying customer. Every question I receive is different, yet the core issues and concerns are remarkably similar. Throughout the nine years I’ve been writing this column, I can recall only one letter I’ve received in which the writer said “I am the problem.”

Don’t get me wrong; I understand there are bad bosses, bothersome coworkers, irritating policies and unfair practices. I realize that too often the wrong people get promoted and the right people are let go. I know all isn’t fair, bad things happen, and at times there’s no bright side to look on. I don’t take the questions I receive or the advice I dish out lightly, but every time I look for new solutions, a version of the same one keeps surfacing. I’ve noticed that I, too, have a common theme in the advice I give.

Although I strive to tailor my suggestions to each person and situation I address, it seems as though my overall message can be summed up in just a few words; take control of your life. I realize this is not what people want to hear, and that it seems impossible when it feels as though circumstances and people are controlling you. That’s why it’s even more important to take control of what you can.

It is easier to focus on other people than it is to focus on ourselves. We may be powerless to change someone else, but we can become empowered to change ourselves. Not all situations can be resolved. Sometimes the best solution is also the most difficult.

I realize this is not always what others want to hear, and that it is easier to look outside ourselves than it is to look within.

I once heard a saying that has stuck with me over the years, and I try to live by the simplicity of the message. It summarizes the theme of my advice: “If it’s to be, it’s up to me.”

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